


Letters to You

by Taintedgold (OnePhoenix)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Grooming, M/M, Pedophilia mention, all characters are of age, more of just a venting fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 09:17:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16194590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnePhoenix/pseuds/Taintedgold





	1. Chapter 1

Dearest Jeremy,   
This is an odd letter to you but I think that I should explain some things. The reason I’ve been so odd recently is due to the part of things in my past. I have tried my best to hide them from you because they seem to not enjoy my being. The thoughts, I mean, not you.   
As a teen, I was into a 22-year-old. Not the smartest thing. In my defense, I was interested in him and he didn’t care I wasn’t legal. Was interested in me as well. And well, it escalated. I wanted more from him, coming to terms with myself, my being, and he was willing to give. Beautiful man, kind eyes, but of course, I didn’t know his true intentions. He groomed me perfectly, Jeremy. I still want him, I still think of him as a friend. I want to go back to him even though I’m older now and it’s been years. I don’t know why. I’m sorry though, for that. For being so odd and different because of him.   
His being makes me worry about myself. About being like him. I don’t want to get older and fall for someone too much younger than me, which is you. But you’re safe. We are at the same place in life and I can’t help it. Falling for you. You’re sweet, funny, make stupid jokes. I know you don’t hate me. I know that oh so well. You’re so safe, Jeremy, which is why I’m telling you this. You are safe and deserve to know all of me.   
And all of me includes this tiny little thing. My little secret that I’m ashamed of, that I wish to not speak of again, but with things coming back, remembering him. God, him. He... I think I loved him. Once. At such a young age, but I was hurt and needing someone and he gave it to me. Gave me everything I asked for and I didn’t know it was wrong, Jeremy. Oh Jeremy.   
Oh, sweet Jeremy, I love you.   
Always yours,   
Gavin


	2. Chapter 2

Jeremy hadn’t once pried into Gavin’s past in the time that they’ve been together. He had been so kind and sweet whenever Gavin went silent about certain things, when he cringed, and Gavin loved him even more. He didn’t know what to do about explaining besides with a letter before leaving, but he knew Jeremy would find him. He wasn’t very far.   
In their own little apartment, Gavin sat with the cats on him when a door opened, Gavin looked to see Jeremy with a smile on his face, just watching Gavin as he walked over, letter in hand.   
“Glad you saw it, dear. Expect more.”   
“Can I ask about him?”   
“His name was Teddy. We played video games together. He was good at it too, helped me out with his girlfriend. And it went from there.”   
Jeremy sat down next to Gavin, gently putting down the letter and wrapping an arm around Gavin.   
“Hey, that fucking sucks, Gav. I love you.”   
“It’s in the past, you know? It... happened. You grow, you learn, you live with the damage.”   
Gavin melted into Jeremy’s arms, slowly finding himself in his lap.   
“That’s not something you should have to deal with, Gavin. Not once in your life. You deserve good things, to not be a secret. Fuck, Gav. That... must’ve been bad for your head.”   
“It’s made me into the person I am today. I might be a little more secretive, but I can’t help it. I just... I’m me, now. I’m me, Jeremy. And I’m yours. What if I wouldn’t have found you without the pain of everything?”   
Jeremy sighed, running a hand through Gavin’s hair as he pulled him closer.   
“No one will ever touch you again. Think like that of you. Use you like that. I promise you, Gavin. I swear.”   
“Jeremy... I love you.”   
“I love you too, Gav.”


	3. Chapter 3

Lovely Jeremy, 

Meeting you has been a blessing. I just want to say that before we get into my bullshit again. I’m not much of a fan of any of this honestly. Remembering. I like to live in the now, with you. But, I must handle this and tell you, so you understand. 

When I was younger, I used to take piano lessons. You would notice how I stare longingly at the piano some days, you’ve mentioned it before. I miss it dearly, honestly. The piano. I should pick it up again, right? 

That’s all beside the point. I feel like it’s odd, but, apparently, my piano teacher was a pedophile. You wouldn’t know that by looking at him at first. My parents didn’t trust him with me, I guess. Looking back at it, the door was always open. They made sure of it. Made sure they could see me. Didn’t stop him from getting his hand on my thigh, my back, my hand, my shoulder. Simple touches that didn’t seem to have a problem or mean anything, but he was touching me. Interested in me, I guess. I don’t think I was that pretty of a child for an adult to want anything to do with. 

It all disgusts me now, thinking about it. Maybe I should pick up the piano. Show that I can do something beautiful for once in my life. Instead of just... being a disappointment. Something sad that adults, older people, they all felt like they could use me. I don’t... understand how. Why? Was I vulnerable? Was I clueless? Did someone do something that I don’t remember? I don’t know, Jeremy. It’s all scary, to remember. Scary to know people could so easily take advantage of you. 

How I found out my piano teacher was diddling kids was the fact that... huh, a lawyer or someone, I dunno, came to my house, asked me questions, wanted to know about him. And I don’t remember. I don’t until now. He never touched me sexually, but the little touches I remember seemed to carry more to them than they should have towards a child. I don’t want that again. Not again. Not ever. 

I’m sorry, Jeremy. I trust you. You are the one I trust with my heart and that’s why I’m telling you this. All my fears, my problems, my loves, my abuse. It’s all just crazy to think. 

Love, yours forever, 

Gavin


End file.
